Never Alone– Barlow Girl

Sometimes I cannot express my thoughts in any other terms than the ones others use in their lyrics… for that reason I am posting these lyrics. Not that I am feeling alone or anything lately, but just the reassurance to my heart in knowing that I am NEVER ALONE is so good. =) The lyrics mean a lot to me, quite simple really. Take it or leave it, read them for what they are, and know that even if they don’t match your style or whatever, that it still applies to you. We’re never alone in this world, no matter how often it may seem that we are. Praise God for that!

*I waited for You today
But You didn’t show
No.No.No
I needed You today
So where did you go?
You told me to call
Said You’d be there
And though I haven’t seen You
Are You still there?

[Chorus:]
I cry out with no reply and
I can’t feel You by my side
So I’ll hold tight to what I know
You’re here and I’m never alone.

And though I cannot see You
and I can’t explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You’ve placed in my life oh
We cannot separate
‘Cause You’re part of me
and though You’re invisible
I’ll trust the unseen

[Chorus:]
I cry out with no reply
And I can’t feel You by my side
So I’ll hold tight to what I know
You’re here and I’m never alone

We cannot separate
You’re part of me
and though You’re invisible
I trust the unseen

[Chorus:]
I cry out with no reply
and I can’t feel You by my side
So I’ll hold tight to what I know
You’re here and I’m never alone*

Desire

Two hearts fading, like a flower
And All this waiting for the power
For some answer to this fire
Sinking slowly, waters higher
Umm desire, desire
With no secrets, no obsession
This time I am speeding with no direction
Without a reason, what is this fire?
Burning slowly, my one and only
mmm desire
desire
desire
desire
You know me, you know my way
Just cant show me, but God Im praying
That you find me, and that you see me,
And that you run and never tire
mmm desire
desire
desire
desire

By: Ryan Adams

my money is wiltering… haha

My piggy bank after I bought gas this morning…

 

 

 

P.s. I know that “wiltering” is not proper grammar… I just chose to quote Christopher. =]

“The Way She Feels”

*Disclaimer*
So I realize this may be a bit graphic for some people, so if you are one that easily gets queezy or something, don’t read ahead… *kristi* =)
These are just some song lyrics to a song that I was recently given by a friend… I kept skipping over the song because I didn’t like the way it started out, but finally I brought myself to listen to it and now this song means so much to me.

http://www.myspace.com/betweenthetrees
Between the Trees:
The Way She Feels

Shes upset
Bad day
Heads for the dresser drawer to
drive her pain away
Nothing good can come of this.
She opens it theres nothing there
is only left over tears
“Mom and dad had no right”, she screams
as the anger runs down both of her cheeks.

Then she closed her eyes
and found relief in a knife
the blood flows as she cries

All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
Bite the lip just forget the bleeding

Curled up shes on the floor
relief left her she had hoped for something more
from it
He leans down to comfort her
She is weeping and He
wraps His arms around
and around and around and…
The deeper you cut
the deeper I hurt
The deeper you cut
it only gets worse

Now shes slowly opening…
new eyes…

Then she opened her eyes
and found relief through His life
and put down her knives

Then she opened her life
and found relief through His eyes
and put down
she put down her life

I’ve heard several songs, read many lyrics, and even have written some that have all tried to display what was written here; I just really appreciated this and thought I’d share.
Whether you have personally dealt with cutting/self-harm, or if you know someone that has, what do you think?

You won’t relent until you have it all…

Last summer I had the opportunity to attend “The Call: Nashville” on 7.7.07 with several other friends of mine through Mercy Ministries.  I was at a point in my life then that I was ready to change, and face the issues that were (and had been for years) controlling my life.  The Call was unlike anything that I had ever been a part of, and for that reason I kinda shut myself out to the whole experience at times because I felt uncomfortable here and there.  It’s funny how almost a year later it is impacting me more now than it did while I was standing there on the LP field (home of the Tennessee Titans) amongst thousands of other believers.  I heard so many speakers and worship leaders throughout the course of the day that I had never heard of, nor did I care for at the time, but again, it was because my heart was still hard in some ways and I was not sure what to think of it all.  Two things that were so new to me then were the prophetic worship and prayer times; I had never been to conferences like this before.  If my memory serves me correctly, we left the house before 6-7am for a silent protest walk downtown (which meant getting up at 5am), and then went to the field for the rest of the day where we didn’t return until after midnight.  The whole experience was incredible and I am so glad I was able to be a part of it; I was able to worship alongside of my Mercy sisters up in the nosebleed section of the stadium, on the lower level of seats, and then on the field with thousands more.  The whole day consisted of prayer and worship for Nashville specifically (as well as the state of Tennessee and the U.S. all together) to repent and pray for the impure lifestlyes of those living there.  The silent walk that morning was SO incredible as thousands of us walked from Centennial Park to the LP field while praying for repentence for abortions and the lives that had been lost due to them.  That day is one that will forever be burned in my memory because it was such an emotional day… I wasn’t in tears all day or anything, but it was filled with stories of healing, grace and mercy as well as hard stories from people that had abortions, and even some that had preformed abortions as former doctors.  I feel as though I might be rambling here, but I really just wanted to share a song and a few video clips for whomever actually reads this and would care to see what kind of a day this was.  I pray that these few video clips will give you a glimpse of what all went on that day, and that your heart will be touched in some small way.  Thanks for reading this, and let me know what you think if you’ve got the time.  I’d love to know if anyone actually reads this thing. =)

With hope,
Kates

Check out the Misty Edwards song “You won’t relent”.  She sang it that day and it was such a huge impact on my heart.  www.myspace.com/mistyedwards

www.thecall.com

http://youtube.com/watch?v=KtqvZtFPZSA&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2-fvn4rxO7U&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Xl6sfQQkRcI&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MZjoPEADE5Y&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=B9dKJWpIowc

 

 

God’s Provision

Today was great.  =]  I was able to go to the outlet stores in Calhoun, GA with my mom, sister, and niece.  We had a great time shopping at Old Navy, GAP, and a few other stores, but what really hit me today was a situation that I witnessed someone else going through. 

There was a man sitting by himself in a booth to our right as we walked into Arby’s;  he was holding his head up just enough to look at a map book that he had on the table in front of him (with his other hand he had a cell phone up to his hear).  I really didn’t mean to listen in on his conversation, but it was hard not to seeing as he was the only person in there that was talking.  He was on the phone with a family friend asking for help and prayers: he and his wife had just gotten in a car accident on their way home.  He needed that friend to pick up and take care of his two kids while he and his wife tried to find some way home (they still had 600 more miles to go).  He also explained that they needed money to make it home; their visa was maxed out from paying for the car damage ($600+), they had no money for gas to get home, and his PREGNANT wife hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning when the accident happened.  He said that all they would need to get home would be $100, but there was nowhere near our location that they could get money wired to them. 

My heart just broke for that man and his family as he tried calling other friends looking for help, but I wasn’t sure what I could do in that situation… When Mom and Emily joined Makaylen and I at our table I explained the man’s situation and they had no problem giving me as much cash as they had on them to give to him.  As he got off of the phone I went over and explained how I had overheard his conversation and wanted to give him some money to try and help with the situation.  It wasn’t the exact amount that he needed, but it was enough to get him close enough to home that someone could meet him to help them home…  Tears welled up in his eyes so quickly that I couldn’t help but tear up as well.  He was so grateful as he extended his hand for me to shake it, and I was so glad to take it as I told him we’d be praying for his family and he.  He introduced himself and said that his name was Stephen, his wife was Stephanie and they had two children at home.  When I told him that we would be praying for them he got the most cheerful look on his face as he explained that he and his family were believers.  The friends that he had been calling were the only friends they had at home in Kansas City, MO and they were all member from their church.

As he was leaving he was able to buy his wife some food and fill up their tank with gas.  It was so great to see him walk out of there with such a peace. 

Lately, I have not seen a day go by where God hasn’t provided for me in such great ways.  I have learned so many things in the past year, and being able to recognize God’s provision in my life has been one of them.  He does not cease to amaze me daily as I am learning just how much He loves me and wants the best for me.  Sometimes that means hardships, but other times it is evident through material blessings.  This past week was a rough one, but the LORD has been so faithful to restore my joy each morning as the new day starts. 

Please join me in praying for Stephen and his wife to make it home safely, and that the $75 would go a long way… Kinda like that whole 5 loaves and 2 fish thing… =]

Thank you friends for all your prayers for me over this past year, and for the encouragement as I did not always see God’s plan for myself. 

With Hope,
Kates

A Random Poll…

There is a tattoo that I am planning on getting, but I would first like to get a few opinions on which translation I should get…

I am planning on getting the phrase “talitha koum” tattooed onto the top of my foot, but I have two language translations to choose from.  “Talitha koum” is what Jesus said to the dead girl that he brought back to life in Mark 5 and it means, “Little girl, I say to you, arise”. 

I like the way that it is written in Hebrew better than the Greek, but as my brother pointed out to me earlier, Mark wasn’t written in Hebrew, but it was Greek.  

In Greek is looks like this:  ταλιθα κουμ

In Hebrew it looks like this:  
 

 What do you think?

Yahweh, show me the Kingdom.

The Kingdom – Bethany Dillon 

It tapped me on the shoulder today when I got home
I saw everything collecting dust
It made me hope there was something more
I pour over pages, desperate to find out why
The cripple at your table has what I’m longing to find

Teach me how to hum it
Because I don’t know the words yet

Help me see the light
I’m reaching through the fight
Yahweh, show me the Kingdom
Arms open wide
Death swallowed up by life
Yahweh, show me the Kingdom

Why are some women barren
While the wicked’s house is full
The stories never seem to end
Give me evidence I’m not alone
You said the weak would be lifted up
But maybe just not yet
So while I wait in this flesh and blood
I’ll learn to lean in

Help me see the light
I’m reaching through the fight
Yahweh, show me the Kingdom
Arms open wide
Death swallowed up by life
Yahweh, show me the Kingdom

 

 

This has really been my prayer lately: that I would have an eternal perspective, living everyday for the glory of God.  I have been so blessed and I want to do nothing less than be a witness to others for the name of our LORD and for His glory.  I have told many friends recently that I just cannot help but laugh as I am continually seeing how the LORD provides for me; I laugh not out of the situation being humorous, but because of my stupidity in that I have been so blind to the LORD’s provision for so long!  I have always been blessed by the LORD with the family and friends that He has given me, but I have not always known/aknowledged this.  I’m learning to “lean in”.

Another I have been learning a lot of recently is how to build trusting relationships: I am learning what it looks like to be a good friend; how to love without expectations, or an agenda; how to forgive and fight off bitterness and resentment; what trust is and how to be a trustworthy friend; how to speak with grace, and how to speak in truth. =] 

I’ve gotta head out now, but I’ll be back to write more at some point…

so i found this today…

TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE
Music & Lyrics by Allie Lapointe & Sara Beth Geoghegan

Take away the curves, the waves
The softness of my form
Straight lines, stick figure
is what I’m going for
Just a little smaller
And then a little smaller still
I chase the moving target
Running uphill
Lord I’m fading fast
All I can do is ask…

Will you draw my portrait
And tell me what you see
Will you shine your light of truth
On the real me
I can’t see fact from fiction
And I long for clarity
So tell me what You see
Tell me what You see

You say I am your masterpiece
Your artwork, your design
Yet I’ve questioned every brushstroke
And altered all the lines
With every gain and every loss
My vision blurs with tears
Until I can’t see anything
Past the stranger in the mirror
I don’t recognize myself
I’m desperate for your help, so…

Will you draw my portrait
And tell me what you see
Will you shine your light of truth
On the real me
I can’t see fact from fiction
And I long for clarity
So tell me what You see
Tell me what You see

so it’s been awhile, ay?

Okay, i know it has been months since the last time i posted on here… but i figured it’s time to let ya’ll know that i’m alive and doing well.  I miss everyone at covenant… it’s crazy to think that i built so many awesome friendships there over the course of one semester while being at school, and then continuing them while i was home this past semester.  how are all of you doing?  haha, ‘all of you’ meaning the people that actually read this.   

i’m doing well, just trying to keep busy with friends and family.  For the next few weeks, i’ll be back up in North Carolina working with Dad.  Next week i’m going up and then i’ll be back on the weekend.  The following week i’ll be heading up and i won’t be back home for another 2-3 weeks… crazy, man! 

I’m going to try and be a bit more disciplined with this blog, but we’ll see how well that works out.  I’ve been reading a new book for counselling… it’s called The Wounded Heart.  So far it is a really good read, but it is a hard one, too.  The book also has a workbook to write in as i’m reading, and that is helpful.  I love reading through that book with a pen in hand… it’s awesome to underline stuff as i’m reading and then to go back later and write the stuff i’ve learned into my journal.  i’d like to post some of that stuff on here sometime… but alas, mom just called me from upstairs to tell me it’s dinner time… perhaps i’ll write more tonight, but if not… very soon.  Love you all, take care!

kate